The Upside of Our Darkside
“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.” - (Cauron, 2004)
According to the theories of Carl Jung, it is imperative that humans fully explore and accept the dark side of ourselves if we are to become fully whole. Simply put, the shadow side is the side that we do not like and therefore hide from the world. It is also the side that holds our deepest source of creativity, innovation, insight, and personal power (Blundell, 2017). The shadow is most often formed in childhood by the rearing environment or the family system.
From birth to young adulthood, we receive messages consciously and unconsciously about what is acceptable in regards to our body, beliefs, feelings, behaviors, etc. Anything that is frowned upon in the home then becomes bottled up and repressed, deepening the shadow. Psychologist Christopher Perry attests, “We not only take in and repress what is unacceptable, we also internalize our caregivers’ attitudes to these unwanted qualities and characteristics of ourselves.” The shadow then strengthens from outside influences such as peers and media.
Both internal and external forces are at play in how the shadow develops. Self-help author and advocate Jen Sincero (2013), in her book, "You Are a Bad Ass," confirms, “Our conscious mind thinks it’s in control but it isn’t.” In fact, most people’s subconscious thoughts are based on an illusion of other people’s beliefs (21-23). Often, we hide our shadow for fear of not being accepted based on societal standards and beliefs that began in childhood. Failure to recognize this side frequently inhibits the very qualities that form the ability to connect with others, thus damaging one of the many sources of happiness that humans hold intrinsically. Researchers Ed Diener and Martin Seligman confirm, “good social relationships might be a necessary condition for high happiness.” According to their data, content individuals are those that have more fulfilling relationships and spend less time alone (Ed Ex, 2021). Therefore, the more we embrace our shadow side, the more we will be able to connect with those around us and cultivate happiness. Perry agrees; it is important to recognize that the shadow is multifaceted and full of abilities. If we allow the shadow to “win,” we may never meet our full potential (Perry, 2021). The shadow holds both light and dark pieces necessary for growth. Through role play games, participants get to explore the many facets of their shadow and with the help of a supportive GM they are able to embrace the light within their shadow in a safe and supportive space.
